(Originally posted in April 2015)

Why are you so quiet?

I have heard this question many times and it always made me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.

So today I want to talk about a book that changed my life. I picked it up at an airport bookshop in Melbourne, just about to hop on a plane back to Newcastle. I started reading in the plane and finished it in just a few days.
The whole book was an epiphany for me and I recommend it to everyone all the time:

Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking

by Susan Cain

Susan Cain dives into the world of introversion and what it means to be an introvert in today’s society. She describes introversion as a character trait and a core part of who you are. It is our default setting. We can stretch ourselves out of it for periods of time, but we come back to it (think of an elastic band!).
Her definition of introversion and extroversion is based around how we recharge. Introverts tend to feel more comfortable in a quiet, less stimulating environment, whereas extroverts would prefer a more stimulating environment.
This has NOTHING to do with whether you are shy or outgoing. There are shy extroverts and outgoing introverts.
The way I like to think of it is to imagine these two situations: alone reading a book or at a party with twenty other people. The introvert will feel recharged in the first situation and overwhelmed in the second; where the extrovert will feel bored and depleted in the first situation and energized in the second.

So if you haven’t read Quiet yet, you should get your hands on it right now. Extroverts, it will change how you see introverted people and shift your understanding.
Introverts, it will change the way you see yourself.

For me, the section about leadership and introverts was life-changing. I never saw myself as a potential leader or even managing people, the thought of it was actually slightly terrifying and speaking in front of people was my worst nightmare.
I saw being an introvert as a weakness rather than a strength.

But reading about amazing leaders like Gandhi, Rosa Parks or Eleanor Roosevelt – all introverts – shifted my perspective on what great leadership is and what I was capable of.

Being a great leader doesn’t mean being the loudest in the room or the center of attention. It doesn’t mean raising your voice and telling people what to do.

At the time of reading this book, I was at a point of questioning in regards to my career, wondering what was next. I didn’t see myself in a management role or a leadership position.

I closed the book and it was like someone turned a light bulb on. The words “maybe I could do this” crystallized in my mind. It was like a door had just opened to thousands of possibilities. About two years later, I am in a management role at work and about to become a yoga teacher.

How about you, where do you fall on the introvert-extrovert scale? What does it mean for you?